Do you feel guilty about the amount of time you actually need to care for yourself properly... or do people around you send shaming signals when you engage in self-care too often, for too long, or at all?
Are you familiar with codependency?
Self-care shaming seems to have deep historical roots in some cultures... but it never fails to amaze me how some of the same cultures can praise public narcissism, yet shame personal self-nurture.
If you find yourself in such a culture or frame of mind, here are some ways to shift the perspective and free your mind...
Who do you spend the most time with? You.
So, why on earth would you need to apologize for making yourself a priority? Stressful situations life throws at you can quickly sap you dry. Generally those situations also require resources like time or money.
You don’t empty your bank account without replenishing it; and you need to...
One of the most crucial steps in nurturing your self-care practice involves the work of exploring what you need most, in every single area of your life. This is such an important step, it can be considered the cornerstone of your entire practice.
What do you need right now in your home life?.. work life?.. love life?.. friends? What do you need more or less of? What do you need most in order to create a life you truly appreciate living?
It takes a great deal of honesty to get down the grit on this, and start asking yourself these types of questions.
If we don’t take upon the task of tending to tend our deepest needs, it is almost impossible to achieve our most important life goals. We can keep riding the hamster wheel, looping forever... watching our days, months and years melt away into infinity while we say...
"Maybe next year I'll start that project, get a different job, end (or start) that relationship - I'm too busy to deal with it right now!"
Creating clear and healthy boundaries may well be one of the most crucial aspects of self-care. Some people argue that boundaries are even more important. I believe they go hand in hand, and that it’s not possible to address one without the other.
Boundaries are defined in multiple layers; and like every other aspect of self-care, they are completely unique to you. The key to working with boundaries involves defining these layers as clearly as possible for yourself and others.
It is the act of defining that creates a boundary, and makes it crystal clear what you want to remove or keep in your life.
“Boundaries are a life enhancing system of ‘yes’’ and ‘no’s.’ They are stop signs and borders you install to protect yourself so that it is clear you own your life, make good choices, and pursue the authentic expression of who you are in the way you live, love, give and relate.”
Personal boundaries are the...
Perfectionists strive to be the best at everything they do, and this isn't necessarily a bad thing. Many perfectionists excel in their fields. But that doesn't mean this personality trait isn't without its downsides.
When a minor setback feels like a major personal failure, that's when perfectionism becomes a burden. Perfectionists may hold themselves or others to standards they know are unrealistic. If your perfectionism interferes with your ability to form or maintain relationships, there are steps you can take to break free.
There is no work of art in any museum that's perfect. Every famous painting has plenty of blemishes that only a trained eye can spot. The Mona Lisa is a great work of art, but if you look at it with X-ray fluorescence spectroscopy, you'll find that the painting is made up of over 40 layers of paint! Had DaVinci gone much further beyond the 40th coat, he could have lost the...